


Second Best

by TeamJaqar



Series: Second Best/First Choice [1]
Category: Ackley Bridge (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 04:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamJaqar/pseuds/TeamJaqar
Summary: He always tells himself that this is the last time, that next time he’ll be strong and say he’s had enough of being used like this, that he won’t be Cory’s dirty little secret any more.





	Second Best

It’s just sex when Cory gives Jake the signal to sneak away from the others at the rec. He’s flattered, really, to have anyone interested in him at all. But for it to be Cory Wilson, the one lad  _ everyone _ wants to be with, makes him feel particularly special.

He doesn’t feel special for long. When they return to the group and Cory completely ignores him for the rest of the night, he feels embarrassed to have imagined he could mean anything at all to the boy who can - and probably does - have anyone he wants.

He vows not to let it happen again. He almost succeeds.

  
  


-

  
  


It’s just sex when Cory reminds him once again that this has to be  _ our little secret _ , that no one can know what they do or it will ruin everything. Jake doesn’t imagine it will ruin much for him, but he keeps quiet for Cory’s sake.

He dreads the mornings after, when Cory will regale their group with the fantastical stories of the girls he’s spending his nights with, and Jake will pretend to laugh along as he tries to ignore the shame burning inside him. The shame of meaning so little that Cory won’t even admit to having spent the time with him, even if he doesn’t tell anyone what they were doing. The shame of knowing where the scratches on Cory’s back really came from, when he’s showing them off in the changing room, but not being allowed to say a word.

  
  


-

  
  


It’s just sex when he wakes up alone, with the bruises on his hips and the bite marks on his shoulders the only proof that anyone was here at all.

He always tells himself that this is the last time, that next time he’ll be strong and say he’s had enough of being used like this, that he won’t be Cory’s dirty little secret any more. He repeats the words to himself as he strips the sheets from the bed and opens the window, trying to rid his bedroom of every trace that Cory was ever here.

He wants to believe he has the self-esteem to manage without the attention, without the pretence that another human being cares about him at all.

He wants to believe that one day he’ll find the courage to walk away. He knows he probably never will.

  
  


-

  
  


It’s always just sex, until it isn’t. 

Cory shows up at his house in the middle of the night, cold and afraid, and Jake can’t help but feel sorry for him. They talk about Cory’s dad, about Jordan, about the baby. Cory cries, and Jake holds him until the choked sobs fade into whispered apologies.

That night, it’s different. Cory is gentle and affectionate and everything Jake has ever wanted him to be. It feels as though they both know it’s the last time. When he wakes in an otherwise empty bed, Jake knows he was right.

  
  


-

  
  


He finds out about Cory and Naveed a few weeks later. He isn’t as surprised as he expects to be. 

He just hadn’t expected it to hurt this much.

  
  



End file.
